awake

Why does anyone start one of these things?  For me, I still don't know exactly.  Perhaps it will be an avenue for me to consider the where's and why's of my life.  Or to say nothing at all.  Or simply to provide an outlet for life.  Thus I must first offer an official apology for whomever may be reading this.  I am sorry for the lack of direction, proper grammar, and whatever else I may do that is incorrect.  I simply need this for me.

Let me start by explaining the title of this post.  Earlier I was lying awake in bed.  My thoughts were racing and there was no chance of becoming comfortable enough to fall asleep.  Therefore I sat down at my computer.  In months past, I would not have entertained the option of reading a blog at this juncture, however tonight was different.  A few of my friends have been writing blogs and I wanted to change.  Following the last entry of my friend's blog, I thought to myself that this may be a good option for me.  Who knows, someone may actually be interested or care about what I write.  

Therein lies the start of my blog.  A chance to tell the world who I am...now that's really corny.  Realistically its a chance to stop thinking it to myself, but rather presenting it to the world.  You can read it if you want, but the simple fact that I've entered this post means that its not just on my conscience any more.  Who knows how often I will complete a post, but preferably more often than not.  So please, sit back, and attempt to enjoy.

I am soon to be bestowed with an honor that few ever achieve.  On May 15th, 2009 the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health is going to present me with my Medical Doctorate.  Holy crap!  I am unbelievably excited for this moment and at the same time scared to death.  I'm only 25  years old and now will be capable of saving and/or ending a human life.  Yikes.  Of course I have been preparing for this moment for years, but the shear weight of this responsibility is humbling.  

Humility, something I've learned along the way but can always learn each day.  Lord knows I try to remain humble.  But that attempt can be difficult, especially given the field I'm entering.  Which leads me to the last two points I want to make prior to completing this post.  First, the title of the blog - Lots of learning - represents many things in my life.  In my life I have spent 21 of my 25 years in formal education, hence "a lot" of learning has already occurred.  Yet I know that my learning will never cease.  I anticipate a life of learning.  Should I ever stop learning that will be a sad day.  However to refer back to a previous statement, soon I will be charged the responsibility of patients' lives --  I really want to know everything right now before I take on that responsibility.  But I cannot.  I must remain humble.  That is the second point I want to make.  My username represents what I wish to be every day, more humble.  Personally I believe that we can all be humbler.  Yet the challenge we all face is when and how to balance humility with pride and confidence.

Well I hope this wasn't too boring.  Perhaps tomorrow when I read this I may think otherwise of it.  But for now, this is my attempt at blogging.  I will attempt to maintain this to the best of my abilities and time constraints.

Sincerely,

  Humbler